Little People Belittle People
It’s that tone of voice, the dismissive attitude, the comment that shows they don’t think anything of your accomplishments. I’m sure it’s happened to all of us more than once. So what do you do about it?
The first reaction is probably to do what I’ve done many times and that’s just to disappear off on your own and cry for a bit. I take things personally and am my harshest critic. I don’t think this is a bad option though as it lets your feelings out and then you can think what to do.
You could confront the person and explain how they have made you feel. They may be horrified and apologise profusely. You would have to be prepared though for the fact that they may feel that you are attacking them and they’ll try to twist the argument back against you. You may come to the realisation that it’s just not worth confronting these type of people as you are the one who will end up feeling worse.
Probably the best option is to deal with belittling behaviour or comments by having the self esteem and confidence to dismiss it. This is, I’ll admit, where I struggle a lot. If someone asked if I felt like a failure, I’d probably recite them a list of failures. If someone belittles me, I’ll probably inwardly agree with them and analyse all the things I’ve done wrong.
The definition of “belittle” is literally to make someone feel little. They might manage that but I’ll then go on to make myself feel even smaller.
So if you can’t or won’t confront someone if they’ve made you feel belittled then what do you do? Humour can be a great weapon. Make a joke out of it or even exaggerate on their comment. It will deflect the situation and may make them realise how wrong they were.
If all else fails, then don’t be afraid to walk away from the situation. Belittling is a form of abuse that can be criticism, being put down, being dismissed, your feelings being trivialised, insults, condescension or being undermined, manipulated or discounted Try to recognise it as belittling behaviour and you can then take steps to stop or lessen the impact on you.
I’m hugely self critical and one belittling comment will send me on an orgy of negativity with the comment replaying in my head for days. I try to think now:-
Belittle me all you want
But I will not be little
I can be so much bigger than you
Some days it works, sometimes it doesn’t. If I’m not prepared to let someone else belittle me though, then I really must stop belittling myself. That’s something that I’m still working on.
The first reaction is probably to do what I’ve done many times and that’s just to disappear off on your own and cry for a bit. I take things personally and am my harshest critic. I don’t think this is a bad option though as it lets your feelings out and then you can think what to do.
You could confront the person and explain how they have made you feel. They may be horrified and apologise profusely. You would have to be prepared though for the fact that they may feel that you are attacking them and they’ll try to twist the argument back against you. You may come to the realisation that it’s just not worth confronting these type of people as you are the one who will end up feeling worse.
Probably the best option is to deal with belittling behaviour or comments by having the self esteem and confidence to dismiss it. This is, I’ll admit, where I struggle a lot. If someone asked if I felt like a failure, I’d probably recite them a list of failures. If someone belittles me, I’ll probably inwardly agree with them and analyse all the things I’ve done wrong.
The definition of “belittle” is literally to make someone feel little. They might manage that but I’ll then go on to make myself feel even smaller.
So if you can’t or won’t confront someone if they’ve made you feel belittled then what do you do? Humour can be a great weapon. Make a joke out of it or even exaggerate on their comment. It will deflect the situation and may make them realise how wrong they were.
If all else fails, then don’t be afraid to walk away from the situation. Belittling is a form of abuse that can be criticism, being put down, being dismissed, your feelings being trivialised, insults, condescension or being undermined, manipulated or discounted Try to recognise it as belittling behaviour and you can then take steps to stop or lessen the impact on you.
I’m hugely self critical and one belittling comment will send me on an orgy of negativity with the comment replaying in my head for days. I try to think now:-
Belittle me all you want
But I will not be little
I can be so much bigger than you
Some days it works, sometimes it doesn’t. If I’m not prepared to let someone else belittle me though, then I really must stop belittling myself. That’s something that I’m still working on.
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