Mentally Tough


 It’s been quite a hard seven days, to be honest. I had my first medical oncologist appointment in which they set out the treatment plan for me. This involves them bombarding you with information and getting you to sign consent forms for various things.

The good news was that chemo is shorter than expected with only six infusions. The thing that is causing me a lot of stress is the hormone therapy that will follow active treatment. They want me to take an aromase inhibitor for 10 years plus infusions of a bisophosphate every six months for three years. This appears to be the NHS standard care for post menopausal women. 

I was sent home with additional info to read about all this when I got home and that’s when I started to see problems.

All aromas inhibitors contain lactose. I am strongly lactose intolerant. The inhibitors also thin your bones. I already have arthritis in my back and both knees. The 3 years of bisophosphate infusions are supposed to counteract the bone thinning but can have the side effect of destroying your teeth. You also can’t have extensive dental work while having the infusions in case you get necrosis in your jaw bone. Lovely! I have weak teeth anyway, always have had so would need 5 or 6 extractions beforehand just in case. Financially I can’t afford that and, at this point in time, it just feels like a little more than I can cope with.

So I have come up with an alternative plan to present to my oncologist. It’s Tamoxifen. Lactose free versions are available on the NHS and it doesn’t impact your bones. It may be slightly less effective than the aromas inhibitors as it doesn’t strip your body of estrogen. It does have wonderful side effect of prolonged use increasing the risk of uterine cancer. My plan is to say give me Tamoxifen for 2-3 years and then let’s review it.


This is what has been so mentally tough. There is no perfect choice, everything has drawbacks. I’m finding it hard to get my head around that and am constantly fretting about making the right choice. I’m also not looking forward to arguing with the oncologist and fighting for what I want instead of what they choose for me. 

For the first time really, since last April when I found the lump, I have felt sorry for myself and despaired a bit, to be honest.

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