They Think It’s All Over (Sorry but it’s really not)

 I was inspired to write this by something that the Princess of Wales said recently about her own cancer journey as it really resonated with me. Basically she was talking about the hardest time being after you’ve finished active treatment. I read it and thought God, she is so right!

So you finish your last active treatment (for me that was radiotherapy) and you ring the bell. I’m sure some people think you ride off into the sunset on a bloody unicorn after that! I had a friend stop me in the street this week. I hadn’t seen her for a bit and the first thing she said to me was “are you back to normal now?” I physically restrained myself from saying no I’m not back to fucking normal and just smiled and said that I was ok.

It struck me after this that many people probably don’t realise what actually does happen next so I want to talk a bit about what’s been going on with me lately.

I was given about 3 weeks off after finishing radiotherapy and then it was back to the oncologist. I had an echocardiogram set up to check chemo and radiotherapy had not damaged my heart (it can happen) and a dexa scan to get a baseline figure on my bone density.

This all took a little while to sort out but in June I started endocrine therapy. I’m currently taking two lots of medication.

1. Exemestane.

This is an aromatase inhibitor which basically reduces the amount of estrogen in my body as I had a tumour that was fed by hormones. It has a wonderful array of side effects including hot flushes, fatigue and joint pain. It can also cause my bones to thin which is why I needed a dexa scan before starting it. I have to take this daily for TEN years 

2. Ribociclib 

This is a cdk4/6 inhibitor which block enzymes that can cause cancer cells to grow. I call it the devil pill. These are the side effects listed on Google 

  • diarrhea
  • constipation
  • nausea
  • vomiting
  • stomach pain
  • headache
  • hair loss
  • back pain
  • itching
  • mouth sores
  • swelling of the hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs

It can also damage your liver and heart so you have regular tests. I seem to be having a rare side effect as it’s messing with my eyesight at the moment. I’m due to see my oncologist next week when I will plead for a dose reduction. I have to take this for a 3 week cycle then I get a week off to recover. This will go onto for TWO OR THREE YEARS!

On top of this I have to deal with a body that has had a part of it amputated! Try and imagine that! Not to mention the fear of a recurrence which every cancer survivor deals with. I haven’t been given my official chance of recurrence but I know from my own research that it’s  still probably about 8%

But I’m still fucking alive here. I will deal with all the shit that is thrown at me and will take all the devil pills that they prescribe me! Just don’t ask me if I’m back to normal. Try and imagine walking in my shoes if you can! 

Just remember 1 in 2 people will get cancer in their lifetime and check your boobs, ladies! 


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